So, it looks like I skipped a week… My challenge was to post one article every week for 2 months, and this week I fell short. I love writing and it makes me feel so happy and fulfilled which I think is a feeling I’ve been trying to avoid this past week. If I’m being honest, it just felt good to feel a little numb. Writing is so raw and it forces me to confront my emotions and force them into words. It is cathartic and healthy but it is also so so tiring. Pardon my french but September has been an absolute shit show for me. My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me, a few weeks later my car died and after getting it repaired I got in my first ever car accident which totaled it. I try so hard to look at the positives in my life, but this optimist is really struggling.
Throughout all of this writing has really helped get me through, however this past week I just didn’t want to kick up any dust. Things finally felt like they settled just a tiny bit and rather than deal with my emotions I just wanted to push them aside and go blank. I suppose you could call it a vacation.
I have also started to become a little bit obsessed with my blog’s stats. What started as a fun hobby that was only for me, quickly turned into research; trying to find the best possible times to post. I found myself checking my account constantly after posting hoping to see the number of readers go up. At first this felt thrilling, but eventually, it just started to feel sad. When I began this challenge my goal was to force myself to stick to a consistent schedule while still putting out pieces that made me proud. The goal was not to gain followers or compliments or chase a certain number of likes.
After one week I wouldn’t exactly say that I feel refreshed, but more like refocused. September is finally over, here is to hoping (praying) that October will be just slightly better. Cheers.