Life’s Short… But it’s also kind of long

We hear all the time that life is short. This idea forces us to live every day to it’s fullest and not waste a single bit of time. I understand this concept, and I agree that it is important to seek a fulfilling life since we only get one! However, today I want to take the road less traveled and reveal to you that yes, while life is so so short… it’s also kind of long.

As a type A person with anxiety, sometimes it is the idea that life is long that brings me a sense of calm. I’ve talked before about how easy it is to start forming a life checklist in Stop Asking if I’m Getting Married, and how detrimental that can be to our lifestyles. As I scroll through my Instagram feed I see so many friends celebrating wedding anniversaries and babies first steps and sometimes I let myself panic; shouldn’t I be doing these things too?

I am slowly starting to get to the stage in singleton where my friends are nudging me about the idea of setting me up. I was talking with a girl at work about how there was one guy that I had always enjoyed but I knew he didn’t like kids and how could I ever date a guy who doesn’t like kids? Isn’t that just a waste of time? I need someone that wants to make babies! She finally looked at me and said “Jamie, you are 23 years old. You have so much time.” I was taken aback.

I have so much time.

The only one who can put my life on a timeline is God. I can try and try to understand and plan out exactly how it should go, but I don’t have a clue. So why waste time planning? Yes, I do have friends that are my age or younger and starting families and I think that is amazing! However, my life doesn’t look like that right now. It’s okay to spend a year or two and just be a little bit lost. In fact, I have a feeling that someday I’m gonna look back at these years and remember them fondly.

So whether you are 16 or 35 or 65 I hope that you remember how short life is so that you make the most of every day. But I also hope that in those times when you are feeling rushed and impatient, you remember that you have time to slow down and take a breath. You’re on God’s time, and there is no point in rushing that.

Cheers to the end of September (finally)

So, it looks like I skipped a week… My challenge was to post one article every week for 2 months, and this week I fell short. I love writing and it makes me feel so happy and fulfilled which I think is a feeling I’ve been trying to avoid this past week. If I’m being honest, it just felt good to feel a little numb. Writing is so raw and it forces me to confront my emotions and force them into words. It is cathartic and healthy but it is also so so tiring. Pardon my french but September has been an absolute shit show for me. My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me, a few weeks later my car died and after getting it repaired I got in my first ever car accident which totaled it. I try so hard to look at the positives in my life, but this optimist is really struggling.

Throughout all of this writing has really helped get me through, however this past week I just didn’t want to kick up any dust. Things finally felt like they settled just a tiny bit and rather than deal with my emotions I just wanted to push them aside and go blank. I suppose you could call it a vacation.

I have also started to become a little bit obsessed with my blog’s stats. What started as a fun hobby that was only for me, quickly turned into research; trying to find the best possible times to post. I found myself checking my account constantly after posting hoping to see the number of readers go up. At first this felt thrilling, but eventually, it just started to feel sad. When I began this challenge my goal was to force myself to stick to a consistent schedule while still putting out pieces that made me proud. The goal was not to gain followers or compliments or chase a certain number of likes.

After one week I wouldn’t exactly say that I feel refreshed, but more like refocused. September is finally over, here is to hoping (praying) that October will be just slightly better. Cheers.